A moment of Peace

I just feel so much peace right now.  I feel a new connection with my body.  While I was running at the gym today, I could feel the strength in my legs. In some ways it feels so foreign, and yet I feel like this new me is breaking through.  I feel much more at peace with that part of my life right now.  I suppose this moment of inspiration is helped along by the beauty of this day.  It is one of those days where the air feels thick with peace, and joy and beauty.  The idea of overindulgence is a faraway thought in this moment because there is no sense of lack.  One thing that has come to mind, that was part of the motivation to write this, is the idea of the pictures I created for my classmates.  I was telling myself there wasn't enough time to do them and complete my assignments for school, but I felt the importance of them and so I dismissed the thought.  If I hadn't done those photos, so many of my classmates would have missed that moment of beauty and whatever the pictures might be for them in the future.  So that's why I sit here writing this, when I know I need to complete my exam.  Some things, some moments, are just too important to pass up.

It's getting good...

Is it strange that I feel a kind of giddy excitement about going on to 2nd year?  It's like finally! This is being said after 2 straight hours of focusing on finishing my final exam.  I'm excited to be writing on here again, though inspiration has begun to leave me after staring at papers.  I've been thinking about where my life is going to go this next year.  My thought as I've been working today has been, what do I really want to go for?  How do I go into 2nd year without a strong goal to work toward?  Anything less is doing myself a disservice.  I know 2nd year has such powerful potential. Then, honestly, there is this part of myself that is questioning what I thought I wanted.  I know there are things that are important to me, like travel.  I also know that travel can be an escape for me (that doesn't really work).  So, I am left wondering what really is important to me? What is my heart's true desire?  What will bring me true and lasting joy and happiness?  I can make up all sorts of nice sounding answers to that, but I'm done with stories now.  My little mind doesn't have the answer.  I'm ready to ask the big Mind, and I think I just may be ready to do what is requested. ...deep breath...

In a Starbucks at 10 at night...

I find myself sitting in a Starbucks feeling so compelled to write. I've been working on my final exam, reading about the Law of Manifestation, and I found myself thinking about the life I desire to have. The images are like pieces of a puzzle floating in my head, and I don't quite see yet how they fit together. I can barely even see the big picture. How do you put it out there and ask for something that you can't even really grasp? I look at my life right now and it almost makes me want to cry. Everything is almost good. Everything is waiting on something, waiting for my life to really begin. I guess the truth is I've settled. I've settled for what was comfortable for me. I have a comfortable romantic relationship. I have a fairly comfortable job (I almost laugh to say that, but it is at least familiar and I know what to expect). It does challenge me in some ways, yet I know that I have not been living up to my full potential. I have a comfortable living situation, and I've managed to create a financial situation that has lulled me into thinking I have no choice but to stay where I am. It seems sometimes that what I read is so at odds with what I feel to be true in my life. Looking at this next year at school, there is some fear about not being able to make it, about having to re-create another year, yet it is not exactly what it seems to be. I fear it more because it would mean my life still wouldn't have started. Still waiting...